Feel like i'm walking on a line.

January '10. Happy new year Marine. Can't you fucking sleep ? What a shame, you shouldn't, he's not that good though. Undoing himself this way, he must be lost, hun'. You know I know all of this mum. You just can't help and I'm sorry. I wish I could be unsensitive once in a while, leave my heart on a pavement, give it to a melting snowman, or sell it to the man I buy fruits to at the market. A heart for kiwis. It's free.

One month of nightmares. The fear of losing him. Mentally. His wisdom, the way he speaks, the way he feels things, music, fucking awesome dialogues in movies. His wonderful blue eyes, the little dark patches inside. This fear is litteraly breathtaking, makes me sick and empty.

I went back to school. Put every hope in a single person who's finally not worthing it. I'm listless, bored of it. I believe i'll never find anyone else, but i don't want to cry for it. I'm desperate but not sad. It's just i can't feel anything. I don't want help, i just want to see him and talk to him, to slap his cheeks so they turn blue, make him change his way.

The thing is, i'm no Superman.

(beniciodeltororemindsmeofyou)